What to Expect When You are Not Expecting

My adventure of getting pregnant over 35 starting with clomid

Make Love not War May 20, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sage Sloan @ 4:23 pm
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The only thing my husband has to do is to have sex and not fight with me.  I am the one that has to get the tests, track my cycles, make a schedule,  do the daily pee test, get blood test,  buy the tests, pay for the medical expenses, experience  blurred vision, and have mood swings.   All he has to do is have sex and he missed it.  I thought men were supposed to be perpetually horny before I got married.  Not in our case. We work together and had an argument about work at home.   He acted like a huge baby – you would think he was the one on hormones.  He is also a mean fighter which doesn’t help matters.   So I tell him that I don’t want to be around him for awhile and go upstairs.  Thinking that at some point- knowing we were supposed to do it- which we talked about before the fight, I thought he would come up and take care of business.   How wrong I was.   Watching TV I waited and waited- finally at 11:30 I go to bed only to find that he is already there!  Are you fucking kidding me?  Pardon my French but I was incredulous.  My husband is in a start up company and works a lot of hours and has a lot of business stress- I recognize this but feel like it is no excuse for missing an ovulation day.   He came home in a bad mood, fixed himself a bourbon. We hardly spoke yesterday and what makes me even more mad about this is that he is helping his mother with her divorce and can take the time from work to help her but not on our family?   Am I a crazy person?   Is this wrong?  Is this clo talking?   When we decided to do clomid this was to be our number one priority and it just doesn’t seem like it is for him.

So when I got in bed I woke him up to tell him that he hadn’t let the dogs out-  he got up let the dogs out, came back to bed and not another word went back to sleep.   This is hard to handle at any time but even worse when clo is in town.  I was so furious I almost got up and slept in another room.  I tried to talk to him but no answer.  Do I have to wake him up to have sex with me?  He hasn’t had much of a sex drive and we had a long dry spell before I got pregnant.  The only time we have sex is when we are trying. We havent’ had sex for the fun of it in a long time so this is already a hard spot.   When I have tried to discuss this with him he tells me that it is just stress.   I know this is wrong but I feel like if he doesn’t want to have sex with his wife than maybe we shouldn’t get pregnant in the first place.

So it gets better-  he wakes me up early in the morning and says are you ready?   Got up brushed his teeth gets back and bed and says we should do it and attempts to make light of the situation.  He just lays there waiting for me to do something.  Doesn’t touch me doesn’t kiss me- NOTHING- lays there! So this infuriates me- I already feel like we missed the boat because we didn’t do it the night before and his lackadaisical approach is so frustrating.  So a fight ensues for an hour and then he gets up in gets in the shower.   I storm into the other room and start working.  Wait for it….there is more.  He then comes in and says he will make it a priority and go in late to work- again doesn’t hug me anything- walks into the other room and is laying on the bed and says come in here.   I go in the room and he lays there waiting for me to do something-  are you kidding me?  I swear to god he has the moves of a teenager and the sex drive of a senior citizen.  He then takes his clothes off and says get on.  Not wanting to miss the opportunity I do and here is the kicker as we are starting to go for it HE ASKS ME IF I BRUSHED MY TEETH!  Which I had, so I start crying and he freaks out and tells me that I am crazy and leaves and goes to work.   Now we have not done it in two days during this crucial time and if we don’t get pregnant I’ll feel like it is his fault.  Please tell me if I am crazy?

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