So I am literally in the middle of the cycle. I took some pills and now am waiting for the magic to happen. At this point I think I already had my surge and am actually ovulating possibly even today. My little egg could be making friends with a little sperm as we speak. I do want to mention that for the last few days I totally felt like my eyes were strained and vision a bit on the blurry side. I have read that this happens and I am trying to take it in stride. But, I find that I have the hardest time falling asleep because I keep feeling like my eyes are strained. On a positive note, I did find the most amazing ovulation predictor kit today. Clear blue easy. Where has this been all my ovulation life? I mean how cute is it- it is digital and gives a smiley face if you are in surge mode. If not just a circle. Easy breezy. This is a god send and If I can give any advice it would be to get this kit. I was using another brand and it was super hard to figure out. Spend the extra ten dollars for the digital it is totally worth it!
So my nurse called and said that I need to see the doctor in a week. I had to get my insurance approved for a potential ultrasound and will meet this years deductible. So In a week I will know about my pregnancy! Amazing, I am pretty excited that it is so controlled now and that I won’t be tempted to take pregnancy tests a week before I should. Which- I have totally done before. There will be no need to obsess like I usually do. This I like. Today, my Mom told me that she saw a show where a 70 year old lady got pregnant which I found gross and inspirational all at the same time- see anything is possible! Speaking of moms, do any of you find this is a particularly difficult time to talk to your mom? I find that as I have gotten older my relationship has changed and that I have my point of view that doesn’t really go with hers. This is a struggle with because I used to depend on her for emotional support and now when I need it I don’t have it. My mom feels like it is about her. When I was first pregnant I asked my mom not to tell people. But because she felt like she needed to talk to someone about it she did. After I figure out she told people she then lied to me about who she told. You can imagine how wonderful it was at Christmas when my uncle came up to congratulate me on getting pregnant- mind you I had the miscarriage a month prior. Two other of my aunts who allegedly didn’t know felt like Christmas would be the perfect opportunity to talk to me about it. Over the last year there have been more of these instances so because my mom feels the need to tell everyone everything I don’t really feel comfortable talking to her about what is going on with me. Here is another good one my mom calls me the other day and says she is worried about my nephew getting his girlfriend pregnant and isn’t it funny that my sister and cousin(who talks mean about me all the time) tell her not to worry- if he does get her pregnant-I can take the baby because I don’t have one. Seriously- why would my mother tell me these thing??? I want to keep nothing but positive vibes around myself and just don’t feel like my aunts and cousins have the same intent. Since my mom can’t keep things to herself…I have to keep this to myself.