What to Expect When You are Not Expecting

My adventure of getting pregnant over 35 starting with clomid

Wanna Be Startin Somethin June 25, 2010

Yesterday was a crazy roller coaster ride for me. The morning was off to a good start, had a great client meeting in the afternoon and really felt like things were going well at work. I called my parents in the car on the way home as I often do, and that is where things went awry. Since we are still in our first trimester we haven’t really been publicizing our pregnancy. Having gone through a terrible miscarriage the last go around we are really hesitant to tell anyone about it at this point. Our doctor advised us to wait until after the first trimester to spread the news and we are particularly sensitive on this matter. I had a horrible falling out with my mother the last time because she told so many people about it after I had asked her not to. I had an atrocious Christmas when several of my relatives made remarks to me that were completely thoughtless and ended up crying that night. I know that people are not perfect and that I have high expectations of them but I just can’t understand why there is such a lack of support out there?

Here is my version of what went down yesterday – During the call with my mom she tells me that she thinks my Dad told me uncle at lunch about the pregnancy. She then tells me that they were talking about it and how they thought telling people was a game because if they did tell and everything was ok they have nothing to worry about. WTF- aren’t they worried about not respecting MY WISHES? Doesn’t it matter to them that they are breaking my trust and giving me undue stress? I get that they are excited, so am I- I have cancelled plans with friends so that I didn’t have to tell them right now and some I would really like to tell. I am not trying to play games, the doctor told us not to publicize this information yet- we are still at risk and I thought telling our parents was nice and that it would be great to get their support. WRONG. As the conversation went on with my mom I started to get upset. If she doesn’t know for sure that my Dad said something- why is she even saying something to me in the first place? How is that helpful? All it does is stress me out. So then enter my Dad- he gets on the phone and I am trying to joke around about this at first and I ask him why he has such a big mouth. I then ask him if he told my uncle and he said “I don’t know.” Whatever he knew if he told him- so why wouldn’t he just tell me yes or no? Then I ask him why he would do this and his response is “it is my god given right”. Your god given right to break your daughters trust?? I lit in to him about how disrespectful he was and then he literally starts screaming at me telling me I owe him an apology and am out of line and that I should be ashamed of myself. Hormones go into crazy overdrive and I explode. I am literally crying as I write this. Who does this? Who plays these games with their pregnant daughter?

I yelled back and then hung up on him and sobbed uncontrollably. I mean hard. I don’t know if it is the hormones that gave me such a reaction or what put I don’t know the last time I have cried this hard. It was uncontrollable sobbing and it was terrible. My non-stop whaling totally upset my stomach and I don’t know if it was my stomach or the baby but the rest of the night I was having some pains – nothing excruciating – but none the less it cannot be good for any pregnancy to get this upset. I just don’t get it. Why is it so hard for them to support me and respect my wishes? I understand that in the long run this likely will be no big deal and that everything will be fine – it’s just their cavalier attitude that upset me so much. Hubby came home and took me to dinner to take my mind off of it. Mom called last night and I just couldn’t deal with calling her back. I got a voice mail from Dad today and haven’t even listened to it. I just don’t want to get in another argument if I call them back and put myself through this again. I also don’t know if I will even get an honest answer. I am just sick over this. Why do they wanna be startin somethin? Is it in homage to Michael Jackson? I am probably so immature for this but I just don’t want to call them back at all. I don’t need this- am I overreacting?


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