What to Expect When You are Not Expecting

My adventure of getting pregnant over 35 starting with clomid

You only lose what you give away July 14, 2010

This week has been kind of ho hum on the pregnancy department.  Nothing new to report.  I have been feeling the same, a little naush, and tired.  I tried to go to an outdoor street fair/concert with my hubby this weekend and that was a joke.  All the smoke was enough to make me sick.  I hated it.  It is funny smoke really bothers me a lot now and I find it revolting.   If you knew me you would think that was funny because although I really have never been a regular smoker-  I loved smoking when I had a few cocktails.   It is a vile and unhealthy habit and I really hope that my disdain carries over after I have the baby.  Hubbie and I were chatting about how I don’t really have any cravings and the things I like to eat haven’t changed at all.  Maybe that comes later.   If anything I find more things unappealing and what sounds good to me is very limited.   For example I am addicted to making homemade Crispix mix.  I also cannot go a day without eating fresh fruit.   I feel pretty good about what I have been eating but haven’t been great about exercise.   I do get out for a bit in the afternoon at work for a walk but that is not enough.   I need to get back to doing my yoga.   I haven’t had a much weight gain yet so I feel good about that.  I am so nervous about putting on too much weight.  I watch a few reality shows as a guilty pleasure and on this weeks episode of Kourtney and Khloe take Miami I totally understood where Kourtney was coming from.  I couldn’t imagine the pressure to get into a bikini that soon after having a baby.  She knows she obviously went overboard but I liked her determination to get back into shape.  Hopefully, Bethany Frankel will let the cameras role on how she bounced back.   One thing they both have going from them is that they were in great shape before getting pregnant and there muscle memory helps get them in shape quicker.  I wasn’t in the best shape when I got pregnant so I know that I will have a harder road so I amm making sure to not use this pregnancy as an excuse to go crazy on food.  Because I didn’t start out rail thin- the doctor told me I don’t need to gain as much weight.  .  Kourtney I read put on over 40lb so that is a lot to lose! Hopefully I can keep this weight gain healthy and bounce back afterwards!

Has anyone found that during pregnancy they feel particularly philosophical?   If you knew me as a person I am hard on other people but even harder on myself.   I hold people to high standards and am known to obsess about things.   As bad as I can be with others I am the worst with myself.  This is something that I work on all the time and feel like I have gotten a lot better at letting things go.   I was thinking about where I am at in life and where I want to be and setting a great example for my children.  I feel great about the person I am today but for some reason I am so critical of myself and started thinking about stupid mistakes that I made growing up.   Stupid stuff.  I was never arrested or involved in anything majorly wrong but liked to party a lot and probably didn’t make some of the best decisions and for some reason sometimes I really beat myself up over it.  I mean it is crazy who didn’t make poor choices at one time for another?   Why do I dwell on this?  Clearly it has had no impact on my ability to be successful in life.  I know that I need to stop thinking like this because everybody makes mistakes and I didn’t do anything worse than anyone else.  I am obviously neurotic.  Mistakes make us who we are and we learn a lot about life through them.  My children will be lucky that I have had so many experiences to draw from because it will enable me to give them great advice!  My take away on this is that the only things in life that you lose are what you give away.  So own it!   Still working on acceptance!  Anyone else getting philosophical?   Any life lessons?


2 Responses to “You only lose what you give away”

  1. The combination of “Mommy brain” and “pregnancy brain” has left me barely able to remember how to speak so no philosophical points from my end! As for the weight, you probably won’t start gaining anything till another month or two. I didn’t gain anything till the 5th month, and I ended up gaining 50 lbs. But I had a 10lb baby so it wasn’t all me! After 6 weeks, I had 18 extra lbs to lose, and I did, through exercise. I didn’t diet because I was breastfeeding and that helped burn a lot of calories. It took a while, but I lost all the weight, just in time to get pregnant again! I also have more food aversions than cravings at this point. Cravings come later, once the nausea wears off and your appetite returns. That’s also when you start to put on weight. Just remember though, it took you 9 months to gain that weight and it’ll take you that long to lose it.

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