What to Expect When You are Not Expecting

My adventure of getting pregnant over 35 starting with clomid

The joys of pregnancy! August 9, 2010

It is Monday and I still have the achy breaky headache.  Should I call the doctor?   It isn’t horrible right now just mild but present.  I don’t really have any other symptoms except some back pain which I often get from time to time.  According to my research, headaches during pregnancy are often from stress or I could have a sinus infection.  That could explain my slightly sore throat.    The suggestion is to try all the homeopathic cures and if it is still bad and there is no relief to call the doctor.   I am excited to share that one of the suggestions is to get a message.  Hello I love this-  I love massages and although I don’t think I am any more “stressed” than the next person I feel it is only necessary that I try this before calling the doctor.   If I feel up to it afterwards I may even try my pre-natal yoga DVD.  Pregnancy positive number one- an excuse for yoga and massages!  Holla!

I experienced another one of the joys of pregnancy this weekend.  Pregnancy positive number two- women who have been pregnant before are extremely empathetic and do not expect you to lift a finger in their presence.  I sort of love this.  I attended two parties this weekend and how gracious were my hostesses- they literally would not let me do anything.   Since my head was still in explode mode I loved this but I hate not helping people so a little bittersweet.  First off was a family party at my mother in law’s (MIL) house.  It was a birthday party for my niece but I felt definitely felt like a VIP guest.  They had special water for me, and wouldn’t let me do anything.  It was so nice!  I also went to a BBQ at my girlfriends and she was such a doll- supplying me with water and lemons and totally looking out for me.  My single and newly married sans kids friends….not so much.  I also got a call from a cousin of mine that seriously hasn’t called me since we were in the second grade.  I was quite surprised to hear from her since she never acknowledged my wedding.  When I say didn’t acknowledge I mean never sent in a response card, sent a gift, congratulated me when I saw her in person nothing.   Yet I am pregnant and get a call- it was such an unexpected and nice gesture.   Is there a motherhood sorority that I apparently didn’t know about before?   Am I rushing Mamma mamma gram?  I will do my best to uphold the sanctity of motherhood- I like it!

Like always I think I may have once again made a borderline inappropriate comment.   I always have good intentions that sometimes just get lost in the delivery.  To give some color on my girlfriends we are all between the ages of 36-38.  Most of us married, some with kids , me prego.   Since we elected for genetic screening I learned so much about the Down Syndrome odds and really wish I had known more about them.  There are so many publicized pregnancies of women over forty that I think there is perception that there really aren’t any additional risks as you get older.   No one ever talks about that.  I know that I was under that impression until now.  Had we known what we know now we would have began trying for a family much earlier than we did- period.  Yesterday at the BBQ we were talking about how we planned on having another child as soon as we possibly could after this one.  I didn’t want to sound preachy or scare the girls but wanted to be honest about what I learned and told them how it is kind of a myth that there aren’t risks getting pregnant over 35 and how after going to the genetic counseling we learned that your risks double every year over 35.  I really hope that I didn’t scare or offend anyone in the room because it wasn’t my intention; I was just hoping they could benefit from what I have learned and at least be able to make informed decisions.  I didn’t say “you guys need to get started now”   or anything like that, it was more of a we learned that there really are risks and want have our family as quickly as possible because of the risks associated with it.  The conversation was clearly a little uncomfortable and I wonder -Should I once again just shut the hell up?   Did I cross the line of becoming a preachy know it all or was I a helpful friend?

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One Response to “The joys of pregnancy!”

  1. If your friends have kids then I’m sure they know all about genetic testing and all that. I heard all about when I had my first at 25, and I’m hearing it again at 26. A friend of mine had a baby at 39 and her little boy is absolutely perfect, he’s super smart! He was walking at 10 months and now at 20 months talks in 2-3 word sentences. Enjoy the pampering you’re getting with this pregnancy, it doesn’t happen the second time around!


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