What to Expect When You are Not Expecting

My adventure of getting pregnant over 35 starting with clomid

Pregnant or Fat? September 21, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sage Sloan @ 12:33 pm

My dear pregger friends- have I been MIA or what?   Can you believe it has been over a week since I have written?  I have been going through withdrawal!  No worries all is ok on my end-  I have just been sick.   Trust me if I had written anything in the last week my demeanor would have been less then positive and you would have probably stopped reading!  I have had a terrible cold/flu/something and again it totally kicked my booty.  It’s funny because I thought at first that it was that whole pregnancy sinuses or maybe allergies that we hear so much about but this turned into something much much more and is still lingering.  Even my little netti pot hasn’t been helping to much- total misery.  The sneezing, the incessant runny nose, the coughing, and not to mention the exhaustion!  It is never ending my friends.   I even went home from work one day which is something I never ever do.  We have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow so hopefully she can recommend something for me but I am also hoping that I am magically cured by tomorrow because that always seems to happen by the time you get to the doctors!

Tomorrow is a big day- we get to find out the sex of the baby!  I can’t believe I am already five months and that it is finally here.  I am so excited.   We did the string and ring test the other night and it says we are having a boy!  Hubby thinks that test must be 100% accurate- we will have to confirm this tomorrow.   All the online tests say it is most likely a girl so it will be interesting to see.   Everyone keeps asking me what I feel and until lately I really didn’t feel one way or another on the matter.  I feel like it might be a boy though for a few reasons.  First- I can’t come up with a single girl’s name that I like.   Whereas I am totally in to our boy name.  Second- I became inspired on how to decorate a boy nursery this weekend.  I think a light green color with giraffes would be so cute.   Giraffes are kind of like the boy version of leopard print (which I adore- well let’s face it-I adore any animal print).  I saw a stuffed one in the window while driving by Galt baby and on Gossip Girl last night.   Yes I just outed myself on another guilty pleasure I like to watch insert embarrassment here but they are beyond adorable.  It is going to be so much fun to decorate.

I am still kind of in that in between stage.  I play a little game with hubby every morning called pregnant or fat.   I try on outfits to wear to work and he tells me if I look p or f.   Most of the time it is an F girls!  I have found that tight clothes make me look more p than f and that I can fit in a lot my sweater dresses.  I also figured out that it might just be better to accentuate the positive (bump) than to hide it.  Did I tell you about the faux leather leggings I ordered?  OMG I am attaching a picture because they are to die ant totally rocking my maternity world.  They just came in the mail yesterday and of course it is going to be 80 degrees the next few days so I am not able to wear them but I cannot wait! My mom thinks I am literally insane but I don’t care I am having fun with this.  I have been going crazy on the my “maternity” purchases so I am going to go on hiatus here for a bit but could go on and on about all the great ways I have found to jazz up this pregnancy.  Even when I am just running errands on the weekends I want to feel cute-  I bought a men’s burbbery plaid shirt on ebay and it looks so cute over leggings-  perfect for running errands on the weekend or even under a blazer with some heals to work I can pull it off- love.  Let’s not forget the scarf my latest love affair-  I can get away with wearing leggings and a t-shirt to work with a cute scarf and blazer over the top with heels-  take the blazer off and throw on some flats and a cardigan at home and am totally comfy and stylish enough to go out for a casual dinner- all because of the scarf- loves it.  Who knew pregnancy fashion could be so much fun?

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Livin La Vida Legging September 9, 2010

Eighteen weeks three days and how many hours…Another good day on the books!  Allergies are still hanging around but I swear the neti pot and my Himalayan Salt Lamps are helping tremendously!  The weather has changed to fall and I couldn’t be more excited!  Fall just might be my favorite time of the year.   The foliage is so beautiful and the weather in Chicago is wonderful which makes for amazing fashion.  I am living la vida leggings lately and loving it!  I got my shipment form bloomies yesterday and found a few successful pieces which I am beyond excited about.  Mainly I ordered a couple of dolman sleeve dresses that are beyond perfect with leggings.  Because I am 5’9 a lot of “dresses” these days tend to be on the short side and work perfectly with a pair of leggings.  The dolman sleeves make a lot of room in the tummy region so accommodating to the bump.   I tried these little numbers on and shoved a throw pillow underneath and am thinking these are going to work for awhile – yay!  Could that be more exciting?

Unfortunately my shopping high came to a swift halt after a lovely conversation with my mother – go figure.   She lives in Ohio and I moved to Chicago almost fifteen years ago and you would think she would be over it….but she’s not!   I seriously cannot get through a conversation without a snide remark from her about how her grandchild won’t know her.  My personal favorite is was when I was asking her about cribs last night she made all these snide remarks about how she doesn’t know what cribs are like in Chicago.  Seriously?  Is there a special manufacturer that only makes cribs for people in Chicago?  I kept telling her we have all the same stores for babies that she does because they are chains and even those that aren’t sell pretty much the same stuff-  she wanted no part of it.  I also mentioned that it might be nice to get a convertible crib with matching furniture that the baby will be able to use for awhile – apparently I couldn’t be more wrong in my thinking and no one in Ohio does it that way.   People buy one crib and then get a bed and other furniture after they are done with the nursery.  I also should be wearing maternity clothes instead of trying to get away without wearing them because that is what people in Ohio do. Is there an opposite of wind beneath my wings? Like I care what my cousins that I never talk to do!  Note to self do not punish the baby for the rest of his/her life if he/she decides to move out of town!

On another note has anyone researched or participated in activities that allegedly help your baby become smarter?   We have been listening to classical music during the commute back to work.   I recognize that a lot of the studies surrounding classical music have come out bunk.  I just figure that it is better than my baby recognizing Howard Stern’s voice!  I did read that DHA is apparently very important during the last trimester as that is when all the brain and retina development happens rapidly.  Check- in my PNV!  Apparently- eating proteins and specifically eggs helps as well.   Gives new meaning to the word egghead does it not?  Luckily I start every weekday morning with an egg or two so got that one covered as well.  I also read that there is a correlation to morning sickness and baby brilliance.  Because morning sickness is caused by the surge in pregnancy hormones the theory is the stronger the surge- the better the development.  So to all the ladies out there worshipping the porcelain gods out there- you might just be taking one for the team and growing that intelligent baby!  Any other suggestions out there on how to mother the next Einstein or Bill Gates?

 

Kick it up a notch! September 8, 2010

Hi fellow pregos- how is your week going?   Mine not so bad!   I am feeling pretty good today and last night was actually able to do stuff when I got home from work-  a miracle-  I normally crash on the couch and can only muster up enough energy to make dinner -if that.   I went through my closet last night and bid my pants adieu!  So long suckers!  I also put away all my skirts and tops that just aren’t going to happen for me anymore.  Kinda of hated it- kinda loved it.  Now I have a good idea of what is available to me right now- and it isn’t so bad.  I will be putting a lot of stuff on ebay this week though since I likely won’t be wearing any of these clothes for a long while and have no idea what will fit me-  I feel the urge to purge!

Do any of you have pets?   My husband is convinced that my dogs know that I am expecting.  My little one likes to nestle on my stomach and the big one seems to be by my side a lot more these days.  My thoughts are that it is because I have been home so much more now but he thinks otherwise….thoughts?  Do pets have an intuition?  We have two family rooms in our house which are pretty much his and hers.  Mainly because I fill the Tivo with my trash reality TV shows and need a place to watch them in private. The doggies usually join me there even when hubby is home. It is the only room in the house that our Bernese Mountain Dog  is allowed on the couch and when I am not in fetal position sometimes he joins me with his head on my lap.  I am sure this is not helping my allergies but I can’t resist he is amazingly sweet and it is wondy!  Last night hubby came up for one of our shared programs-  Chopped- (who doesn’t’ love that show?) I told him I would take the chaise so he could experience the couch love with our Berner.  I am still laughing at what transpired.  Hubby, who I might add is 6’4, was crouched in the corner of the couch leaving all the room for our dog excitedly ready to sit with him.  The dog wanted no part of it and kept jumping down to lay on the floor by me.  Since the Berner is his dog- hubby was just sitting there all looking sad so he got up and grabbed my Havanese and had him lay on the couch with him.  Oh the games we play!

Speaking of playing- I don’t’ feel like my baby is doing much of it.  I don’t know if it is because this is my first go around but I am just not getting the fluttering sensation very often…is this a cause for concern- or do I just not recognize what it feels like?   I am 18 weeks and 2 days and am not feeling a lot of movement.  This baby needs to kick it up a notch!  What I do feel is like myorgans need to rearrange all the time and when I stand up I almost feel like motion sickness or something for a sec.  I call it my body getting re-organ-ized.  Is that the baby moving?  I read that it can also be mistaken for feeling of hunger.  I do feel like I am starving in the morning I did tell hubby last night after eating dinner that I still felt hungry- was that really my baby moving to thank me for a delicious meal- or me subconsciously coming up with a reason to eat a piece of the AMAZING banana cake my MIL made me?  I might add-  I am feeling some hunger right now- Should I be getting a kick out of this?

 

Hungry Hungry Hippie! August 15, 2010

It is with great pleasure that I announce a several day stint sans morning sickness!  The second trimester is definitely not the terrible twos but as with anything pregnancy related there are some pros and some cons.  Pro-  I don’t feel like I am going to die at any given moment.  Con- my face is breaking out reminiscent of my teen years.  Pro-  I am not feeling so nauseas that food is starting to become appealing again.  Con- I am a walking hungry hungry hippo!  Seriously what is for dinner?

As with any of the stages I am all about making the best of the situation and trying to overcome these issues.  Let’s start with the face…not so skincredible.   I have always had oily skin and am not a stranger to a zit or two.  I am thirty seven years old so it’s not like I am full on pizza face but the skin is not working for me.  Did anyone notice on the Bachelorette this season that Ally always seemed to have a blemish on her chin?  I am the new Ally in that regard.  I have a giant heater on my chin that I have named after her.  Am I eating for three now?  I know you all aren’t freaks like me but because I am an old hag I am trying to give this pregnancy every advantage possible.  What this means is that I have officially gone hippie in my skin care, hair, body wash, lotion anything I put on my body.

I am a green machine.  A few of the pros- amazing new product finds.  I have started this all natural skin care regimen and it is unbelievable so far.  I put this product called “baby face”- irony noted – on last night and it literally shrunk my Ally in half!  Here is what is weird…it is an oil.  Oil on my acne?   Who knew? I am only a day in but I predict my Ally will be gone in a few days.  Did I mention this oil will allegedly helps with wrinkles?  Beyond impressed at the moment.  I also found this great deodorant spray at Whole foods that was only $3 and is without the aluminum etc.  That is a keeper- it has been 90 degrees all week in Chicago and I haven’t had that not so fresh feeling in the Brad’s (I know you get it…Brad Pitt…arm pit…).  Love it! I also a new lotion that is loaded with all kinds of butters and I picked the creamsicle scent in honor of the baby that is the size of an Orange now.

So totally loving my eco-lifestyle.  Good for the baby and good for the enviro…but there are of course some cons.  My husband tells me I smell like a hippie.  The toothpaste (Tom’s)  is just not so minty fresh.  I may still need to find a better flavor but the Tom’s mouthwash is great.  The lotion doesn’t seem to absorb that well and I feel like any jewelry that I wear is getting oily and I feel like I need to wash it after I wear it…another chore.  Since the scent of this woman needs to improve I am going to look at perfume…my last non-organic eco vice….are there any eco/organic fragrances out their?   Don’t tell me I am going to have to start mixing my own perfume.  I don’t want to say sia nara to Vivara!

 

The joys of pregnancy! August 9, 2010

It is Monday and I still have the achy breaky headache.  Should I call the doctor?   It isn’t horrible right now just mild but present.  I don’t really have any other symptoms except some back pain which I often get from time to time.  According to my research, headaches during pregnancy are often from stress or I could have a sinus infection.  That could explain my slightly sore throat.    The suggestion is to try all the homeopathic cures and if it is still bad and there is no relief to call the doctor.   I am excited to share that one of the suggestions is to get a message.  Hello I love this-  I love massages and although I don’t think I am any more “stressed” than the next person I feel it is only necessary that I try this before calling the doctor.   If I feel up to it afterwards I may even try my pre-natal yoga DVD.  Pregnancy positive number one- an excuse for yoga and massages!  Holla!

I experienced another one of the joys of pregnancy this weekend.  Pregnancy positive number two- women who have been pregnant before are extremely empathetic and do not expect you to lift a finger in their presence.  I sort of love this.  I attended two parties this weekend and how gracious were my hostesses- they literally would not let me do anything.   Since my head was still in explode mode I loved this but I hate not helping people so a little bittersweet.  First off was a family party at my mother in law’s (MIL) house.  It was a birthday party for my niece but I felt definitely felt like a VIP guest.  They had special water for me, and wouldn’t let me do anything.  It was so nice!  I also went to a BBQ at my girlfriends and she was such a doll- supplying me with water and lemons and totally looking out for me.  My single and newly married sans kids friends….not so much.  I also got a call from a cousin of mine that seriously hasn’t called me since we were in the second grade.  I was quite surprised to hear from her since she never acknowledged my wedding.  When I say didn’t acknowledge I mean never sent in a response card, sent a gift, congratulated me when I saw her in person nothing.   Yet I am pregnant and get a call- it was such an unexpected and nice gesture.   Is there a motherhood sorority that I apparently didn’t know about before?   Am I rushing Mamma mamma gram?  I will do my best to uphold the sanctity of motherhood- I like it!

Like always I think I may have once again made a borderline inappropriate comment.   I always have good intentions that sometimes just get lost in the delivery.  To give some color on my girlfriends we are all between the ages of 36-38.  Most of us married, some with kids , me prego.   Since we elected for genetic screening I learned so much about the Down Syndrome odds and really wish I had known more about them.  There are so many publicized pregnancies of women over forty that I think there is perception that there really aren’t any additional risks as you get older.   No one ever talks about that.  I know that I was under that impression until now.  Had we known what we know now we would have began trying for a family much earlier than we did- period.  Yesterday at the BBQ we were talking about how we planned on having another child as soon as we possibly could after this one.  I didn’t want to sound preachy or scare the girls but wanted to be honest about what I learned and told them how it is kind of a myth that there aren’t risks getting pregnant over 35 and how after going to the genetic counseling we learned that your risks double every year over 35.  I really hope that I didn’t scare or offend anyone in the room because it wasn’t my intention; I was just hoping they could benefit from what I have learned and at least be able to make informed decisions.  I didn’t say “you guys need to get started now”   or anything like that, it was more of a we learned that there really are risks and want have our family as quickly as possible because of the risks associated with it.  The conversation was clearly a little uncomfortable and I wonder -Should I once again just shut the hell up?   Did I cross the line of becoming a preachy know it all or was I a helpful friend?

 

I think I would rather look like a tranny!

It has been a crazy few days….I feel like I have a lot to report! As you know I was feeling really good mid week last week so I decided to kick it up a notch and give the pre-natal workout a whirl. I tried the Summer Sanders workout and let me just first put it out there that I officially have a girl crush on her. She is so my pregnant hero. Since I have been a couch potato for the last few months I decided to start out easy with “express” workout- thank god because I am not going to lie it definitely kicked my butt a little and I for sure would have died doing the full length. The DVD has workouts for every stage of your pregnancy and Summer is AWESOME- funny and not at all annoying. Plus she is like way prego in the video and really kicking it so she it is very motivating. The only negative I would say is that it’s not really clear what equipment you will need at the beginning of the workout so be sure to read the back and have everything on hand. I was so excited that I actually managed a work out I almost cried tears of joy! I was sore for a few days afterward, but it in a very good way! As if not to make my week better, the next day I went shopping and actually found a couple of outfits that I felt good about. Granted I think I hit every major department store on Michigan Avenue and every boutique on Southport Corridor to accomplish this- but I prevailed! Score! Can I just take a moment to discuss fitting room lighting? I swear it’s like they are trying to convince you not to buy anything because I feel like I look so much worse in fitting rooms then in my home. Nordstroms if you can hear me please let me look better in your dressing room!  Anyway, I digress. So I picked up a couple of C-U-T-E dresses and now don’t need to panic the next time I have to go somewhere. Love. Additionally I think these options may make it into fall because they are pretty versatile.

After a week of so much success my amazing pregnancy decided to reward me with the worst headache ever Friday night. It was horrible! I tried everything to get rid of it naturally- water, warm compress, shower, you name it and nothing helped. This wonderful headache decided to take a liking to me and lasted the rest of the weekend. Since I am chemical/pill adverse I didn’t take anything for it. My doctor told me a little bit of Tylenol is ok but I am too nervous to take it. I read that headaches were common in the first tri- but not so much in the second. Does anyone know of a cure for the pregnancy headache? Since I am a glutton for punishment I decided on Saturday, headache still lingering, that it was time to lose the mustache and get my eyebrows done- finally. Girls- OMG did it hurt. I seriously think my upper lip still hurts today. Holy mother of god- that was way worse than I expected. I would not recommend it and am not really sure that it was worth it. I have had this done before but it has never felt like this. I think I would rather look like a tranny then go through that again! It was seriously tingling for days. I couldn’t even enjoy my mani-pedi afterward because my face was throbbing. I also am sure that my red face may have frightened a few people including the little girl that was there with her mother. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, she started screaming at the top of her lungs. I thought my head was literally going to explode. I have to ask a difficult question here. Is it really necessary to take your kids to the salon? In the case of the single mother- I totally get it, but I overheard this woman say that she was going to take the girl to home to daddy if she didn’t stop crying. It’s not that I blame the girl for crying either- I wanted to cry- it smells like chemicals in there and is crowded without any activities for children. Is this something I should know…do kids enjoy watching mommy get her nails done? I am going to put this out there and am recognizing the fact that I could very well be eating my own words at some point and will happily admit if I am wrong but if I can’t leave the kids at home I don’t think I should taking them with to get a manicure. Are mother’s out there screaming at me right now? I think the salon is a place to go to relax and get pampered and not a fun place for the little ones. Am I wrong? Tell me I can take it. I have seen this happen so many times at the salon and really want to know – should I just shut the hell up? Will this be me in a couple of years?

 

Playing the odds- this isn’t Vegas baby! August 2, 2010

When will it ever end?   I have not been a very good blogger these past few weeks but I must say that I am getting my ass kicked by a peach!  As you might have guessed the baby is the size of a peach now and where as I had a string of good days yesterday was another one spent on the bathroom floor.  I thought this was supposed to be ending soon.  I guess not.  I know you are all dying to know what I have been up to since I have been so delinquent in my writing the past few weeks.  My business has been extremely busy and I have been having out of town guests the last few weeks.  My sister in law was in town for a conference so we got to have dinner dates throughout the week.  Beyond enjoyable!  She is so good to talk to and down to earth and we went to some of my favorite restaurants in the city.  Also did some shopping which was fun for her….me not so much.  Still haven’t figured out dressing for pregnancy yet but definitely did not enjoy trying on clothes that I couldn’t get over my gi-normous boobs.  I think it is def time for a new bra.  It was great to talk to her because she has two amazing little girls and has been through this.   She is also realistic about what pregnancy is really like and it was great to ask her questions about what she went through.  The day she left we had some friends over to round out a delightful weekend.  They were so cute and excited and it was great to talk to them as well.  She is a PA and had some interesting perspective regarding c-section over natural birth.   I will definitely be exploring this as we go along so more to come on what she told me are the benies of c!  I was feeling ok most of the week but it hit me like a ton of bricks after everyone left and then I was down for the count Sunday night.

We had some very exciting doctor’s appointments last week.   We had our 12 week check up at the doctor.   It’s funny but I search and search online and can never find information on what to expect during our doctor’s visits.   So for those of you wondering I will give it to you strait up….what happens during the 12 week appointment?   Not much.  The usual….pee in a cup and then meet with the doctor to review any tests/questions, kind of not so interesting. We went over most of our questions in the last appointment so nothing too exciting there.  The doctor did use the Doppler machine to play the baby’s heartbeat for us but I am a visual person and really didn’t get as much out of that as I do in an ultrasound.  It doesn’t really sound like a normal heartbeat like you would expect- sounds more like wings flapping.   What we did discuss during the appointment was genetic testing.   I need to step on my soap box here for a minute…  I can’t believe how the odds change for Down syndrome once you hit 35.  So many people kept telling us oh- it’s no big deal to have kids when you are older and you aren’t really at any more risk.  This is not true- the odds change significantly every year after you turn thirty five.   Had I known this – there are definitely things I would have done differently- primarily with getting a new doctor much sooner after my miscarriage and not taking his advice on waiting it out.   I didn’t have the time!  It upsets me dearly how poorly he managed our case and his lackadaisical approach had us waiting almost a year to get pregnant again.  It doesn’t sound like a big deal but it is if you look at the numbers it is.  At age 36  the chances are roughly 1-329 and at age 37 they are 1-259 when you get to 40 it is roughly 1-150 so time is of the essence here.  Something to think about.

So let’s talk about genetic screening.   If you are over 35 you are automatically offered it.   We decided to take it because we both felt that it would be great to know that everything was ok.  Let me just tell you it is a downer and awesome all at the same time.  The downer part is all the facts and discussion surrounding what could go wrong- does anyone really enjoy that?  No.  Also we have a friend that was given a false positive and went through a lot only to deliver a healthy baby.   Knowing this is possible is kind of nerve wracking.  Now for the awesome part- you get to have an ultrasound at 12 weeks and it is amazing!   We could see our baby’s face, arms, and legs etc.   The baby was moving around and we could watch it all.  It was pretty unbelievable.   We also could see the heartbeat and in the still pictures you can actually see the nose eyes and almost all the facial features.  Granted they are a little alien like at this point but pretty remarkable none the less.  It looks like the baby is holding a microphone to sing- so cute!  I can’t even imagine what it is going to be like at 20 weeks but feel so lucky that we got to have a sneak preview.

So for the nitty gritty on what they do in genetic testing.  The first step is an ultrasound where they measure the baby’s spinal fluid.  Don’t freak out if the ultrasound tech won’t tell you anything during – ours wouldn’t – but take the time to enjoy the rest of the ultrasound it is magnificent.   Then you give some blood-  shocker it’s not like you aren’t a human pin cushion already- then they call you in to the little room to meet with a counselor.  The good news is you get the spinal results right away; ours were great which was a huge relief because the spinal portion counts for 70% of your screening results.  Phew- everything isn’t roses yet but we are definitely skewing in the right direction.  Then they basically just review with you how to read the test results that you will receive in the mail and tell you that if there is a concern they will call you.  If we have a concern our call will come today.  Given our 70% status I am sure we will be a- ok!

So I am starting my second trimester this week and allegedly will start feeling better.  As if I can believe that.   I had a great week last week and thought I was finally seeing the light.  Only to get my ass kicked yesterday after a fun weekend with my parents.  I still feel like crap today and can’t believe how bad I was yesterday.  It is a new kind of bad where I feel like I am going to pass out all the time and am nauseous.   My doctor gave me the Zofram and since I have been so anti drugs I am so hesitant to take it but if this continues I won’t have a choice.   It is bad and I think yesterday was one of the worse days I have had. None of my old tricks were helping, water, food – nothing.  Little Baby why you got to be so mean to me?  I am praying the pregnancy gods- please please make it go away!  Bring it on big belly- just take away the sickness already!