What to Expect When You are Not Expecting

My adventure of getting pregnant over 35 starting with clomid

Gag me with a toothbrush? August 25, 2010

Another day….another pregnancy symptom.   At least I can say that it isn’t boring.  In fact quite and adventure.  I think the woozy/nausea section of this pregnancy has somewhat passed.   I feel OK when I wake up in the morning in that regard but what I have now are a whole new set of issues.  I think I may have some sort of pregnancy allergies.   Not severe or anything but more I often than not I have a sore throat, watery eyes, and every morning wake up with the worst post nasal drip.  I am about to get gross here girls but feel like this needs to be discussed.  Every morning I have this phlegm in the back of my throat- additionally I don’t know about you but my gag reflex is beyond sensitive right now.  What this results in is that if I move my tongue around at all- which you need to when thoroughly brushing your teeth I start to gag.  This is not just a little gag but major then the phlegm in the back of my throat seems like it sits on my gag reflex and next thing you know I am on my knees praying to the porcelain goddess.  Is this not the worst way to start a day?  My mouth is drooling and my stomach is majorly upset for the rest of the day making eating increasingly difficult.  I feel so gross that literally nothing sounds good.  I seriously feel like Rocky in Rocky IV-  I can’t win!  This has been my morning the last 4/5 days.   Today I made it through but feel like my teeth didn’t get as good of a brushing as they could and still had a little gagage.

I also am getting major food aversions from smell.  I like buffalo chicken wings and have had an interest in them for awhile.  The problem is that I can’t order them anywhere because I love them with blue cheese dressing and as you know blue cheese dressing is off limits unless it is pasteurized.   I can tell you from experience, because I have asked everywhere- restaurants that serve chicken wings cannot tell you if their dressing is pasteurized.   Also, most of the bottled dressings in the store are not made with pasteurized milk.  Having this conundrum, I figured I would make my own version.  I made and amazing buffalo marinade for chicken breasts and made my homemade ranch dressing (made with greek style yogurt instead of sour cream).  I also cut up some organic vegetables thinking this would be a great healthy dinner. I was so excited.    Wrong.  The chicken strips were too little to grill so we made them in the grill pan inside.   The smell of the cooking chicken was so awful to me that I couldn’t even eat them!  It was so bad that I couldn’t even eat in the kitchen and moved to the dining room and could only manage the vegetables and dip.   After that, I had to go to another floor in the house because the scent was permeating that air and I found it revolting.  Just thinking about it turns my stomach.   Will I ever get to eat a chicken wing?  I still have hope but it won’t be for awhile.  I did find that T Marzetti’s blue cheese dressing is the only one at my grocery store that says made with pastueruzed milk.   Maybe in a week I will be ready again and will just order up some wings so I don’t have to smell them cooking.  Oy vay!

 

Guilty Pleasures August 24, 2010

What can I say this has been one of the best weekends I have had in this pregnancy!  I am simply amazed!  I actually got up on Saturday and went in to the office for a bit and then stepped out and did some shopping on Michigan Avenue.  It was amazing!  I got a great walk in and got to visit my favorite stores for a little fall fashion inspiration.  I am excited for my fall pregnancy wear!  I am still waiting for my bump though….why must I still just look like a chunky monkey?   I just look thick and not pregnant and feel compelled to tell all the sales girls that I am 4 months preggers so they don’t think I am hefty hefty hefty!  After running around downtown, I went home and rested for a few hours then…wait for it….I actually went out to dinner with my hubby for a date.   It was fabulous despite the fact that the restaurant I really wanted to go to- Chicago Pizza and Oven Grinder- had an hour and a half wait so we had to go to a second string choice Rose Angelis.  As much as I wanted to I don’t have the luxury of waiting for food anymore.   This used to be just fine with me.  I could sit in the bar and enjoy a cocktail which would tide me over until dinner.  Unfortunately this is no longer an option- an hour difference in my feeding time could be detrimental so we went elsewhere and had a good time and a good al fresco meal.  It was just lovely.   Of course I was exhausted by the time I got home and went straight to bed.   Only to wake up the next morning and have another good day who am I?   I couldn’t even believe it.   I actually got to go to Trader Joes.  Secretly I enjoy grocery shopping when it isn’t crowded- since this is one of my household duties I pretend it is a labor of love for the family- but actually I don’t mind it at all.  I like to buy fun things and normally enjoy cooking.  I was almost giddy to actually be out and about again- I haven’t had a weekend like this in a long time.  As I was checking out the clerk asked me if I was doing anything fun that day and I was like-hello this is fun!  I think she felt bad for me- if she only knew.

I was so inspired that after I got home I actually prepared two meals for the week ahead.    Cleaned the kitchen and even sat outside on my rooftop deck for a bit for a little fun in the sun.  The weather was beautiful and it was glorious.  I did find that all this running around made my back hurt quite a bit- but I have dealt with that before.  I did a few stretches and it seemed to help so onward and upward.  Hubby came home and we had a healthy home cooked meal-finally!   A nice change from the take out we normally have and the Wendy’s I ate for dinner on Friday.  I kind of die for Wendy’s – always have.  It never sounds bad to me and I could pretty much eat it any time which is why it is now my go to meal when all else fails.  I seriously can’t turn it down.  A single with cheese  no mayo and fries- forget about it.  If it were in anyway nutritious I would have it daily.   Thank God there isn’t one in my office building.  Not so healthy I know but what am I to do sometimes- a girl’s got to eat!  Wendy’s is definitely my guilty pleasure- what are yours?

 

Sucksville Population Me? August 18, 2010

Can I just say I am getting a little excited here?  I have never really been a baby person before but now I see the pictures and I think how cute and it makes me so excited that I will be having one!  Now I am starting to think about strollers, and cribs, and car seats oh my!  So many options and I have less than six months to decide.   Not to mention my fall/winter pregnancy wardrobe to consider.   So much to do!   My “morning sickness” seems to be mostly gone but I am now plagued with these horrible headaches.  Not helpful.  I know there has to be something triggering them and I just can’t figure it out.   They range from low grade to horrible and I have days where I don’t have one at all.   I will definitely be discussing these with my doctor next week but think it could be any number of things.  Sleep and stress to name a few.   I had a terrible couple of days when my husband was out of town.   His dad had emergency surgery so I was home by myself.   Since the police incident I am not going to lie, I get scared when I am home alone.  Even with my alarm on and 95lb dog by my side I still am afraid and have a hard time sleeping.   Reasons for headache?  Yes!  Last night my little dog decided to wake us up to go out around 4 a.m. and I couldn’t get back to sleep very well after that-  Reason for headache-  I think so!  Couple those with normal work/family stress and barking dogs and I doubt I should be alarmed- just incapacitated.  I think I may have found a rather delightful cure though- I am going in for one now.   Ghirardelli Dark and Carmel Squares.   Have you ever tried them?  OMG-They are almost orgasmic- so delicious and I swear they seem to bring down the headache pain.  Love!   I only have one or two though – gotta keep that caffeine down!

I just read an article where someone four months pregnant knew the sex of their baby.   Hello- I will be four months next week and as far as I know that is not on the roster for the next doctor’s appointment.   She told us we would find out at 20 weeks.   WTF?  I want to know the sex of my baby stat.  Any ideas on how to accomplish this?  Why should I have to wait an extra month?  How far along are most people when they find out the sex of their baby?     What did the sixteen weekers do to find out early?   Any advice is beyond welcome!  I am thinking I need an ultrasound…. we got amazing results back from our genetic screening so I doubt they will want to do anything further-so can I ask for an ultrasound?  I think I just might have to.  A little more n the genetic results –  when we started out our odds were something like 1-156 and now are at like 1-3,000-  the same as the odds of a twenty year old mother-  how fabulous is that?  I am feeling younger by the minute and the baby aced its first test!  How about that- hopefully the first of many!  Might I also add that my headache is gone right now?   Love you squares!

Ok so on to some important things- pregnancy fall wardrobe!  I am thinking ponchos, leggings and riding boots will be my staples.  I already got a pair of super cute over the knee tan riding boots and am stalking a few ponchos online for a sale.   I swear – it literally pains me to pay full price for things.  It must be something in my DNA but I always feel like if I am a good shopper I can get what I want when it is on sale and if I get things on sale- it is ok to buy more.  Sick and twisted I know but that is how I do.  I actually made a spreadsheet of what my staples are going to be.  I have never done this in all of my years but find that I often buy things I don’t love and ultimately never wear them- I am focusing on the love right now and hoping the research will pay off!  I am actually excited to try to pull off pregnancy sheik!  I also ordered some new all natural hair products today and report immediately once of I have a chance to use them.  I am hoping that since my pregnancy has been sucksville population me so far the fall will be the dawn of pregnant and fabulous- my new boots- ponchos and amazing skin and hair.   BTW my Ally is almost entirely gone now – can you say Simply Divine?

 

Hungry Hungry Hippie! August 15, 2010

It is with great pleasure that I announce a several day stint sans morning sickness!  The second trimester is definitely not the terrible twos but as with anything pregnancy related there are some pros and some cons.  Pro-  I don’t feel like I am going to die at any given moment.  Con- my face is breaking out reminiscent of my teen years.  Pro-  I am not feeling so nauseas that food is starting to become appealing again.  Con- I am a walking hungry hungry hippo!  Seriously what is for dinner?

As with any of the stages I am all about making the best of the situation and trying to overcome these issues.  Let’s start with the face…not so skincredible.   I have always had oily skin and am not a stranger to a zit or two.  I am thirty seven years old so it’s not like I am full on pizza face but the skin is not working for me.  Did anyone notice on the Bachelorette this season that Ally always seemed to have a blemish on her chin?  I am the new Ally in that regard.  I have a giant heater on my chin that I have named after her.  Am I eating for three now?  I know you all aren’t freaks like me but because I am an old hag I am trying to give this pregnancy every advantage possible.  What this means is that I have officially gone hippie in my skin care, hair, body wash, lotion anything I put on my body.

I am a green machine.  A few of the pros- amazing new product finds.  I have started this all natural skin care regimen and it is unbelievable so far.  I put this product called “baby face”- irony noted – on last night and it literally shrunk my Ally in half!  Here is what is weird…it is an oil.  Oil on my acne?   Who knew? I am only a day in but I predict my Ally will be gone in a few days.  Did I mention this oil will allegedly helps with wrinkles?  Beyond impressed at the moment.  I also found this great deodorant spray at Whole foods that was only $3 and is without the aluminum etc.  That is a keeper- it has been 90 degrees all week in Chicago and I haven’t had that not so fresh feeling in the Brad’s (I know you get it…Brad Pitt…arm pit…).  Love it! I also a new lotion that is loaded with all kinds of butters and I picked the creamsicle scent in honor of the baby that is the size of an Orange now.

So totally loving my eco-lifestyle.  Good for the baby and good for the enviro…but there are of course some cons.  My husband tells me I smell like a hippie.  The toothpaste (Tom’s)  is just not so minty fresh.  I may still need to find a better flavor but the Tom’s mouthwash is great.  The lotion doesn’t seem to absorb that well and I feel like any jewelry that I wear is getting oily and I feel like I need to wash it after I wear it…another chore.  Since the scent of this woman needs to improve I am going to look at perfume…my last non-organic eco vice….are there any eco/organic fragrances out their?   Don’t tell me I am going to have to start mixing my own perfume.  I don’t want to say sia nara to Vivara!

 

The joys of pregnancy! August 9, 2010

It is Monday and I still have the achy breaky headache.  Should I call the doctor?   It isn’t horrible right now just mild but present.  I don’t really have any other symptoms except some back pain which I often get from time to time.  According to my research, headaches during pregnancy are often from stress or I could have a sinus infection.  That could explain my slightly sore throat.    The suggestion is to try all the homeopathic cures and if it is still bad and there is no relief to call the doctor.   I am excited to share that one of the suggestions is to get a message.  Hello I love this-  I love massages and although I don’t think I am any more “stressed” than the next person I feel it is only necessary that I try this before calling the doctor.   If I feel up to it afterwards I may even try my pre-natal yoga DVD.  Pregnancy positive number one- an excuse for yoga and massages!  Holla!

I experienced another one of the joys of pregnancy this weekend.  Pregnancy positive number two- women who have been pregnant before are extremely empathetic and do not expect you to lift a finger in their presence.  I sort of love this.  I attended two parties this weekend and how gracious were my hostesses- they literally would not let me do anything.   Since my head was still in explode mode I loved this but I hate not helping people so a little bittersweet.  First off was a family party at my mother in law’s (MIL) house.  It was a birthday party for my niece but I felt definitely felt like a VIP guest.  They had special water for me, and wouldn’t let me do anything.  It was so nice!  I also went to a BBQ at my girlfriends and she was such a doll- supplying me with water and lemons and totally looking out for me.  My single and newly married sans kids friends….not so much.  I also got a call from a cousin of mine that seriously hasn’t called me since we were in the second grade.  I was quite surprised to hear from her since she never acknowledged my wedding.  When I say didn’t acknowledge I mean never sent in a response card, sent a gift, congratulated me when I saw her in person nothing.   Yet I am pregnant and get a call- it was such an unexpected and nice gesture.   Is there a motherhood sorority that I apparently didn’t know about before?   Am I rushing Mamma mamma gram?  I will do my best to uphold the sanctity of motherhood- I like it!

Like always I think I may have once again made a borderline inappropriate comment.   I always have good intentions that sometimes just get lost in the delivery.  To give some color on my girlfriends we are all between the ages of 36-38.  Most of us married, some with kids , me prego.   Since we elected for genetic screening I learned so much about the Down Syndrome odds and really wish I had known more about them.  There are so many publicized pregnancies of women over forty that I think there is perception that there really aren’t any additional risks as you get older.   No one ever talks about that.  I know that I was under that impression until now.  Had we known what we know now we would have began trying for a family much earlier than we did- period.  Yesterday at the BBQ we were talking about how we planned on having another child as soon as we possibly could after this one.  I didn’t want to sound preachy or scare the girls but wanted to be honest about what I learned and told them how it is kind of a myth that there aren’t risks getting pregnant over 35 and how after going to the genetic counseling we learned that your risks double every year over 35.  I really hope that I didn’t scare or offend anyone in the room because it wasn’t my intention; I was just hoping they could benefit from what I have learned and at least be able to make informed decisions.  I didn’t say “you guys need to get started now”   or anything like that, it was more of a we learned that there really are risks and want have our family as quickly as possible because of the risks associated with it.  The conversation was clearly a little uncomfortable and I wonder -Should I once again just shut the hell up?   Did I cross the line of becoming a preachy know it all or was I a helpful friend?

 

I think I would rather look like a tranny!

It has been a crazy few days….I feel like I have a lot to report! As you know I was feeling really good mid week last week so I decided to kick it up a notch and give the pre-natal workout a whirl. I tried the Summer Sanders workout and let me just first put it out there that I officially have a girl crush on her. She is so my pregnant hero. Since I have been a couch potato for the last few months I decided to start out easy with “express” workout- thank god because I am not going to lie it definitely kicked my butt a little and I for sure would have died doing the full length. The DVD has workouts for every stage of your pregnancy and Summer is AWESOME- funny and not at all annoying. Plus she is like way prego in the video and really kicking it so she it is very motivating. The only negative I would say is that it’s not really clear what equipment you will need at the beginning of the workout so be sure to read the back and have everything on hand. I was so excited that I actually managed a work out I almost cried tears of joy! I was sore for a few days afterward, but it in a very good way! As if not to make my week better, the next day I went shopping and actually found a couple of outfits that I felt good about. Granted I think I hit every major department store on Michigan Avenue and every boutique on Southport Corridor to accomplish this- but I prevailed! Score! Can I just take a moment to discuss fitting room lighting? I swear it’s like they are trying to convince you not to buy anything because I feel like I look so much worse in fitting rooms then in my home. Nordstroms if you can hear me please let me look better in your dressing room!  Anyway, I digress. So I picked up a couple of C-U-T-E dresses and now don’t need to panic the next time I have to go somewhere. Love. Additionally I think these options may make it into fall because they are pretty versatile.

After a week of so much success my amazing pregnancy decided to reward me with the worst headache ever Friday night. It was horrible! I tried everything to get rid of it naturally- water, warm compress, shower, you name it and nothing helped. This wonderful headache decided to take a liking to me and lasted the rest of the weekend. Since I am chemical/pill adverse I didn’t take anything for it. My doctor told me a little bit of Tylenol is ok but I am too nervous to take it. I read that headaches were common in the first tri- but not so much in the second. Does anyone know of a cure for the pregnancy headache? Since I am a glutton for punishment I decided on Saturday, headache still lingering, that it was time to lose the mustache and get my eyebrows done- finally. Girls- OMG did it hurt. I seriously think my upper lip still hurts today. Holy mother of god- that was way worse than I expected. I would not recommend it and am not really sure that it was worth it. I have had this done before but it has never felt like this. I think I would rather look like a tranny then go through that again! It was seriously tingling for days. I couldn’t even enjoy my mani-pedi afterward because my face was throbbing. I also am sure that my red face may have frightened a few people including the little girl that was there with her mother. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, she started screaming at the top of her lungs. I thought my head was literally going to explode. I have to ask a difficult question here. Is it really necessary to take your kids to the salon? In the case of the single mother- I totally get it, but I overheard this woman say that she was going to take the girl to home to daddy if she didn’t stop crying. It’s not that I blame the girl for crying either- I wanted to cry- it smells like chemicals in there and is crowded without any activities for children. Is this something I should know…do kids enjoy watching mommy get her nails done? I am going to put this out there and am recognizing the fact that I could very well be eating my own words at some point and will happily admit if I am wrong but if I can’t leave the kids at home I don’t think I should taking them with to get a manicure. Are mother’s out there screaming at me right now? I think the salon is a place to go to relax and get pampered and not a fun place for the little ones. Am I wrong? Tell me I can take it. I have seen this happen so many times at the salon and really want to know – should I just shut the hell up? Will this be me in a couple of years?

 

Bootylicious? August 5, 2010

Lemonade Baby- Lemonade!  I am thirteen weeks and 3 days today and think I am finally ready to rock this pregnancy!  Last night I needed to run a couple of errands and decided to see what happens if instead my usual MO of hiding it….I flaunt the prego bod.  So I strapped on a pair of balls and a sexy dress and headed to the store.  I don’t think I could do the dress justice in describing it so I think a visual is needed- see pic but imagine a voluptuous blond in it instead.  In the spirit of trying something new, I let my blond waves flow and headed out sporting my porn star boobs and belly bulge.   I haven’t left the house wearing this number before because I felt too self conscious.   Even in the house I usually threw a sweater on over it.  I decided what the hell. So what if people think I am a little chunky- who cares?  I am three months pregnant and 37 and I think I look pretty damn good.  I mean isn’t everyone drooling right now over the curvaceous Joan on Madmen?  Isn’t a little junk in the trunk (and belly) kind of sexy?  Let’s have a little fun with this shall we?

So I sauntered out of the house and down the street strutting my stuff.  I caught a couple looks on the way and even the streetwise guy told me my dress was sexy.  Not bad.  Not bad at all….Until I ran into my neighbor and her two kids in the store.  To add a little color- this neighbor isn’t someone I know very well in fact I don’t even know her name.  She hasn’t exactly been the most welcoming gal on the block despite the fact that I always have a friendly greeting for her.  Based on my observations, I don’t think she shares the love of fashion that I do and she seems more than comfortable rocking the mom uniform- Capri-pants a plain tee shirt and flip flops-  no judgment here- to each their own- I have lived in the neighborhood two years and have never seen here in anything else.  I have no doubt in my mind that she would not be caught dead in a snakeskin dress!  I wasn’t facing her when I noticed her- but out of the corner of my eye saw a smile on her face turn to a look of disgust as she gave me a once over. I wasn’t sure what to do with this.  I couldn’t decide if this reaction made my fashion risk more of a success or if it was a bit much.    I will tell you that I definitely felt self conscious in front of the little kids with my girls on full display-so the jury is out- maybe the dress is more Saturday night apropos than errand worthy.  What I did learn is that I am done worrying about it.  Who cares?  Pregnancy doesn’t change who I am on the inside and shouldn’t change how I express myself on the outside. I don’t have to feel self conscious.  I need to keep my self confidence in tact and quit worrying about my bootyliciousness!

So this morning I woke up feeling better than ever.  Could I finally be nearing the end of my heinous morning sickness?  This is so exciting I want to scream at the top of my lungs!   I was so excited that I pulled a cute outfit together out of nowhere and am rocking my 5 inch strappy sandals today. Why not?  The security guard in my building said “good morning Diva” to me as I walked in so I guess I am on the right track!  I think tonight I am actually going to try and get work out in.  Dare I say it?  I bought two prego DVD’s but haven’t been feeling well enough to do either one.  I think tonight is the night!  So I will keep you posted on if I would recommend them.  I am now thinking about what to have for lunch.  Still no cravings but everything doesn’t sound gross.  What a difference a day makes….Now this is pregnancy I can get my back in to!