What to Expect When You are Not Expecting

My adventure of getting pregnant over 35 starting with clomid

Let’s talk about Sex Baby August 26, 2010

We had our sixteen week appointment yesterday and as usual  we asked a lot of questions.   The allergies I am experiencing are of course normal and I can take Claritin or Sudafed if want to.  Since I am going for pregnancy au natural I will do none of the above.   Other suggestions were to get an air filter in the rooms I spend the most time in.  I am sure that my Bernese Mountain Dog isn’t helping too much either with all his hair!  Time to take out the furminator.  We also did another round of genetic screening and this is the last one.   It was a blood test no big deal.  I  learned that my doctor will not do a scheduled c-section which I was kind of interested in so that is off the table.  Their rationale is that during a c-section because there is an incision there is a risk of damaging the uterus which could ultimately affect your chances of another pregnancy.  I did not know that.  I guess I will just have to get my back into pushing uhhh….we’ll save that for another entry- so not looking forward to that.  Add this to another one of my many issues!

We also got to hear the heartbeat again.  This time it was a lot stronger than before.   Because I have been a psycho about taking all these online gender tests I had to find out what our bpm were and it was around 160 bpm- nice!  I don’t know about you but we are anxious to find out the sex of our baby.  I feel like then I will truly be pregnant and can begin to plan names, rooms, outfits etc.  Our doctor told me that none of the old wives tales are legitimate and that the most accurate way to find out is at the twenty week ultrasound.  She said that we could do an ultrasound sooner and at our own expense- but that they are hard to read and often inaccurate for that reason.  She said that the 3D ultrasounds are better in the last trimester because you can see so much more detail and that she wouldn’t recommend one until much later if we wanted to go that route.  Apparently the intelligender test is highly in accurate and all the other wives tales are just plain that tales….  Personally I don’t really care if we have a boy or girl- I would be excited about either- I am sure it will matter much more on our second.  My hubby really wants a boy so for that reason alone I am hoping it is a boy.   Also we have this extremely annoying sig ot in our family that keeps insisting it is a girl and I would like to prove him wrong.  I mean he seriously acts like he knows for sure it is a girl and is very uppty about it-  so annoying.  I highly doubt he has some sort of special psychic power to know this information and he knows hubby wants a boy- so shut up already.  Additionally all the online tests I take say it is a girl too so it will be interesting to see how this pans out.

Are you familiar with the whole hamburger turtle analogy?   Apparently that is how you tell the sex on an ultrasound.  Pretty funny.  The girl’s lady parts look like a hamburger and the boy’s manilihood looks like a turtle.  Who knew I was once a hamburger? Will the turtle come out of its shell?  From what I understand on ultrasounds done earlier than 18 weeks they are hard to read – I mean the parts are so tiny now so as time goes on and the baby grows it is easier to tell.   Isn’t funny how obsessed we get with looking at a baby’s privates?

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Sucksville Population Me? August 18, 2010

Can I just say I am getting a little excited here?  I have never really been a baby person before but now I see the pictures and I think how cute and it makes me so excited that I will be having one!  Now I am starting to think about strollers, and cribs, and car seats oh my!  So many options and I have less than six months to decide.   Not to mention my fall/winter pregnancy wardrobe to consider.   So much to do!   My “morning sickness” seems to be mostly gone but I am now plagued with these horrible headaches.  Not helpful.  I know there has to be something triggering them and I just can’t figure it out.   They range from low grade to horrible and I have days where I don’t have one at all.   I will definitely be discussing these with my doctor next week but think it could be any number of things.  Sleep and stress to name a few.   I had a terrible couple of days when my husband was out of town.   His dad had emergency surgery so I was home by myself.   Since the police incident I am not going to lie, I get scared when I am home alone.  Even with my alarm on and 95lb dog by my side I still am afraid and have a hard time sleeping.   Reasons for headache?  Yes!  Last night my little dog decided to wake us up to go out around 4 a.m. and I couldn’t get back to sleep very well after that-  Reason for headache-  I think so!  Couple those with normal work/family stress and barking dogs and I doubt I should be alarmed- just incapacitated.  I think I may have found a rather delightful cure though- I am going in for one now.   Ghirardelli Dark and Carmel Squares.   Have you ever tried them?  OMG-They are almost orgasmic- so delicious and I swear they seem to bring down the headache pain.  Love!   I only have one or two though – gotta keep that caffeine down!

I just read an article where someone four months pregnant knew the sex of their baby.   Hello- I will be four months next week and as far as I know that is not on the roster for the next doctor’s appointment.   She told us we would find out at 20 weeks.   WTF?  I want to know the sex of my baby stat.  Any ideas on how to accomplish this?  Why should I have to wait an extra month?  How far along are most people when they find out the sex of their baby?     What did the sixteen weekers do to find out early?   Any advice is beyond welcome!  I am thinking I need an ultrasound…. we got amazing results back from our genetic screening so I doubt they will want to do anything further-so can I ask for an ultrasound?  I think I just might have to.  A little more n the genetic results –  when we started out our odds were something like 1-156 and now are at like 1-3,000-  the same as the odds of a twenty year old mother-  how fabulous is that?  I am feeling younger by the minute and the baby aced its first test!  How about that- hopefully the first of many!  Might I also add that my headache is gone right now?   Love you squares!

Ok so on to some important things- pregnancy fall wardrobe!  I am thinking ponchos, leggings and riding boots will be my staples.  I already got a pair of super cute over the knee tan riding boots and am stalking a few ponchos online for a sale.   I swear – it literally pains me to pay full price for things.  It must be something in my DNA but I always feel like if I am a good shopper I can get what I want when it is on sale and if I get things on sale- it is ok to buy more.  Sick and twisted I know but that is how I do.  I actually made a spreadsheet of what my staples are going to be.  I have never done this in all of my years but find that I often buy things I don’t love and ultimately never wear them- I am focusing on the love right now and hoping the research will pay off!  I am actually excited to try to pull off pregnancy sheik!  I also ordered some new all natural hair products today and report immediately once of I have a chance to use them.  I am hoping that since my pregnancy has been sucksville population me so far the fall will be the dawn of pregnant and fabulous- my new boots- ponchos and amazing skin and hair.   BTW my Ally is almost entirely gone now – can you say Simply Divine?

 

Hungry Hungry Hippie! August 15, 2010

It is with great pleasure that I announce a several day stint sans morning sickness!  The second trimester is definitely not the terrible twos but as with anything pregnancy related there are some pros and some cons.  Pro-  I don’t feel like I am going to die at any given moment.  Con- my face is breaking out reminiscent of my teen years.  Pro-  I am not feeling so nauseas that food is starting to become appealing again.  Con- I am a walking hungry hungry hippo!  Seriously what is for dinner?

As with any of the stages I am all about making the best of the situation and trying to overcome these issues.  Let’s start with the face…not so skincredible.   I have always had oily skin and am not a stranger to a zit or two.  I am thirty seven years old so it’s not like I am full on pizza face but the skin is not working for me.  Did anyone notice on the Bachelorette this season that Ally always seemed to have a blemish on her chin?  I am the new Ally in that regard.  I have a giant heater on my chin that I have named after her.  Am I eating for three now?  I know you all aren’t freaks like me but because I am an old hag I am trying to give this pregnancy every advantage possible.  What this means is that I have officially gone hippie in my skin care, hair, body wash, lotion anything I put on my body.

I am a green machine.  A few of the pros- amazing new product finds.  I have started this all natural skin care regimen and it is unbelievable so far.  I put this product called “baby face”- irony noted – on last night and it literally shrunk my Ally in half!  Here is what is weird…it is an oil.  Oil on my acne?   Who knew? I am only a day in but I predict my Ally will be gone in a few days.  Did I mention this oil will allegedly helps with wrinkles?  Beyond impressed at the moment.  I also found this great deodorant spray at Whole foods that was only $3 and is without the aluminum etc.  That is a keeper- it has been 90 degrees all week in Chicago and I haven’t had that not so fresh feeling in the Brad’s (I know you get it…Brad Pitt…arm pit…).  Love it! I also a new lotion that is loaded with all kinds of butters and I picked the creamsicle scent in honor of the baby that is the size of an Orange now.

So totally loving my eco-lifestyle.  Good for the baby and good for the enviro…but there are of course some cons.  My husband tells me I smell like a hippie.  The toothpaste (Tom’s)  is just not so minty fresh.  I may still need to find a better flavor but the Tom’s mouthwash is great.  The lotion doesn’t seem to absorb that well and I feel like any jewelry that I wear is getting oily and I feel like I need to wash it after I wear it…another chore.  Since the scent of this woman needs to improve I am going to look at perfume…my last non-organic eco vice….are there any eco/organic fragrances out their?   Don’t tell me I am going to have to start mixing my own perfume.  I don’t want to say sia nara to Vivara!

 

Playing the odds- this isn’t Vegas baby! August 2, 2010

When will it ever end?   I have not been a very good blogger these past few weeks but I must say that I am getting my ass kicked by a peach!  As you might have guessed the baby is the size of a peach now and where as I had a string of good days yesterday was another one spent on the bathroom floor.  I thought this was supposed to be ending soon.  I guess not.  I know you are all dying to know what I have been up to since I have been so delinquent in my writing the past few weeks.  My business has been extremely busy and I have been having out of town guests the last few weeks.  My sister in law was in town for a conference so we got to have dinner dates throughout the week.  Beyond enjoyable!  She is so good to talk to and down to earth and we went to some of my favorite restaurants in the city.  Also did some shopping which was fun for her….me not so much.  Still haven’t figured out dressing for pregnancy yet but definitely did not enjoy trying on clothes that I couldn’t get over my gi-normous boobs.  I think it is def time for a new bra.  It was great to talk to her because she has two amazing little girls and has been through this.   She is also realistic about what pregnancy is really like and it was great to ask her questions about what she went through.  The day she left we had some friends over to round out a delightful weekend.  They were so cute and excited and it was great to talk to them as well.  She is a PA and had some interesting perspective regarding c-section over natural birth.   I will definitely be exploring this as we go along so more to come on what she told me are the benies of c!  I was feeling ok most of the week but it hit me like a ton of bricks after everyone left and then I was down for the count Sunday night.

We had some very exciting doctor’s appointments last week.   We had our 12 week check up at the doctor.   It’s funny but I search and search online and can never find information on what to expect during our doctor’s visits.   So for those of you wondering I will give it to you strait up….what happens during the 12 week appointment?   Not much.  The usual….pee in a cup and then meet with the doctor to review any tests/questions, kind of not so interesting. We went over most of our questions in the last appointment so nothing too exciting there.  The doctor did use the Doppler machine to play the baby’s heartbeat for us but I am a visual person and really didn’t get as much out of that as I do in an ultrasound.  It doesn’t really sound like a normal heartbeat like you would expect- sounds more like wings flapping.   What we did discuss during the appointment was genetic testing.   I need to step on my soap box here for a minute…  I can’t believe how the odds change for Down syndrome once you hit 35.  So many people kept telling us oh- it’s no big deal to have kids when you are older and you aren’t really at any more risk.  This is not true- the odds change significantly every year after you turn thirty five.   Had I known this – there are definitely things I would have done differently- primarily with getting a new doctor much sooner after my miscarriage and not taking his advice on waiting it out.   I didn’t have the time!  It upsets me dearly how poorly he managed our case and his lackadaisical approach had us waiting almost a year to get pregnant again.  It doesn’t sound like a big deal but it is if you look at the numbers it is.  At age 36  the chances are roughly 1-329 and at age 37 they are 1-259 when you get to 40 it is roughly 1-150 so time is of the essence here.  Something to think about.

So let’s talk about genetic screening.   If you are over 35 you are automatically offered it.   We decided to take it because we both felt that it would be great to know that everything was ok.  Let me just tell you it is a downer and awesome all at the same time.  The downer part is all the facts and discussion surrounding what could go wrong- does anyone really enjoy that?  No.  Also we have a friend that was given a false positive and went through a lot only to deliver a healthy baby.   Knowing this is possible is kind of nerve wracking.  Now for the awesome part- you get to have an ultrasound at 12 weeks and it is amazing!   We could see our baby’s face, arms, and legs etc.   The baby was moving around and we could watch it all.  It was pretty unbelievable.   We also could see the heartbeat and in the still pictures you can actually see the nose eyes and almost all the facial features.  Granted they are a little alien like at this point but pretty remarkable none the less.  It looks like the baby is holding a microphone to sing- so cute!  I can’t even imagine what it is going to be like at 20 weeks but feel so lucky that we got to have a sneak preview.

So for the nitty gritty on what they do in genetic testing.  The first step is an ultrasound where they measure the baby’s spinal fluid.  Don’t freak out if the ultrasound tech won’t tell you anything during – ours wouldn’t – but take the time to enjoy the rest of the ultrasound it is magnificent.   Then you give some blood-  shocker it’s not like you aren’t a human pin cushion already- then they call you in to the little room to meet with a counselor.  The good news is you get the spinal results right away; ours were great which was a huge relief because the spinal portion counts for 70% of your screening results.  Phew- everything isn’t roses yet but we are definitely skewing in the right direction.  Then they basically just review with you how to read the test results that you will receive in the mail and tell you that if there is a concern they will call you.  If we have a concern our call will come today.  Given our 70% status I am sure we will be a- ok!

So I am starting my second trimester this week and allegedly will start feeling better.  As if I can believe that.   I had a great week last week and thought I was finally seeing the light.  Only to get my ass kicked yesterday after a fun weekend with my parents.  I still feel like crap today and can’t believe how bad I was yesterday.  It is a new kind of bad where I feel like I am going to pass out all the time and am nauseous.   My doctor gave me the Zofram and since I have been so anti drugs I am so hesitant to take it but if this continues I won’t have a choice.   It is bad and I think yesterday was one of the worse days I have had. None of my old tricks were helping, water, food – nothing.  Little Baby why you got to be so mean to me?  I am praying the pregnancy gods- please please make it go away!  Bring it on big belly- just take away the sickness already!

 

Can I register for a Taser? July 16, 2010

OMG was last night eventful!  Yesterday is one for the books.   Hubby and I had a disagreement that ended up in an evil text war yesterday.  The fight, I am sure was predicated on my hormonal behavior- but it’s like he forgets I am a ball of hormones and doesn’t cut me enough slack or rather is overly temperamental or more so a mixture of both.   I have become a cry baby and find myself reduced to tears form the stupidest things.   I seriously have to have little talks with myself to try to keep it in perspective.   So after an emotionally draining day I like a little time in the evening for my guilty pleasure – reality TV.  This is not a fact that I am proud of but it just makes for some plain old good entertainment.  As PL I am particularly interested in shows with other PL’s so that I can get a sense for what they are going through.  Hence, Bethenny Getting Married is definitely in my Tivo.   While I sometimes find her annoying, I have a small crush on her husband and overall find their experiences pretty funny and relatable.  What a doll and Jason is so supportive.  I mean it is kind of brilliant to get pregnant in your newlywed phase just for that level of support!  So last night she took her honeymoon seven months prego and while I applaud her “putting it all out there” it also was a little scary to watch.   I am so not looking forward to cankles and swollen feet!  Loved the food crawl and am definitely putting that into my pregnancy agenda but the giant stomach with hairline forget about it! That is going to be me just in time for the holidays- oh Joy!

For now it is just me and the little lime (my baby’s current size)!  I don’t think my stomach knows what it is doing most of the time I look bloated but every so often I have a random day where I actually feel uncow like.  I try to embrace these days but they are fewer and fewer, much like my wardrobe choices.  So this is where my night gets really frightening, after my reality fix I want to bed like any other night.   Only to be woken up at 4:30 am by a man in my house saying “Chicago Police”.  Hubby woke up screaming at the top of his lungs (secretly the thought of that makes me chuckle for some reason) and my Berner started barking like crazy.  The man kept yelling out Chicago police and asking us to come downstairs.  We had no idea if this was some sort of trap or what the hell was going on.  I called 911 and I think my Berner scared him out of the house.  He went around to the front of the house and rang the doorbell and hubby went down.  Talk about being scared out of your mind!  911 couldn’t explain to me why he was in my house but said that it was a real police officer.   I mean what the hell?  I didn’t know what to think.  A million scenarios were going through my head and I was so scared for the baby! As it turns out they had picked up some thugs on our block that had stolen gps’s etc.   They thought they were form our garage (detached), so when the officer came to check it out he found that our back door (that we never use) was unlocked and came in to make sure no one had entered the house.  Crazy!   He did a walk through with hubby to check things out and the whole fiasco never ended until 5:30.

Obviously we were so spun up that I don’t think I really feel asleep until 7 only to get up a few minutes later to go to work.   The worst part was that I started to have some cramping.   I never know when to be concerned with cramping.   There were a few sharp pains but they were like 20 minutes apart and painful but not severe.   Please don’t hate me for this but I have never had menstrual cramps so I really have no point of reference to deal with these on.   I have no idea what a severe cramp is or a regular cramp- the only cramps I know are the ones I have now.   I didn’t have any spotting; it was sporadic and didn’t last long so I didn’t call the doctor.  Hopefully there are no worries but I wonder if this level of stress is what caused it.   I am sure this will also add a few more pimples to my forehead- super! Needless to say I am absolutely exhausted today and looking forward to a night at home relaxing.  So a few thoughts on the burglars and some safety obsessions going forward:  new obsession- checking all dead bolts prior to going to bed and possibly even sleeping with the alarm on.  Next obsession: locking the car doors while it is in the garage.   We don’t keep anything valuable in the car and gps is in the dash but at least if someone is trying to break in the car alarm will go off and it will be a good starting point deterrent.  Final obsession:   Where I can get a taser?  Preferably one with some bling on it.  Am I not the only one who has secretly wanted one since seeing the hangover?  Would it be wrong to put one on my baby registry?

 

Knock Knock July 2, 2010

Who’s there?  Olive…Olive Who?  Olive you- little baby! Congraduation to my little one who has graduated from an embryo to a fetus!  My baby is now a fetus the size of an Olive!  I can’t believe I am growing an olive right now.  Does that mean I pee Olive oil?  The non-virgin variety.  I have been following most of my health rules and feeling great this week.   I am especially obsessed with drinking water- hence the inappropriate pee reference.  I think H20 is the real miracle worker here.   I went out to dinner last night and sucked down about six glasses of water and although I was a little shaky upon arrival-  I felt pretty good the rest of the night!  I even stayed out until almost 10 on a school night!  Who knew?

Ok before I go any further I have to comment on a few things that went down last night.  My opinions on acceptable pregnant behavior are quite different than my friends.   I am by no means insinuating any level of properness is required because I like to be inappropriate with the best of them but I am referencing the matter of health and doctor’s advice.  So a couple of my girlfriends had dinner last night and one of the other girls is also pregnant.   I was very intrigued by a few of her comments.  First was that she told our unmarried/never been pregnant friend that there weren’t any restrictions on what you can eat when you are pregnant.   I did not get this memo!  She then proceeded to order and drink three cokes.  Mind you I wasn’t monitoring her intake but we didn’t have the best waitress and they were kind of lined up in front of me.  Let me preface this by saying I am in no way passing judgment on her or her choices because I think people need to do what works for them.  As you know what is good for the goose isn’t always good for the gander but I thought these no nos were common knowledge.    Isn’t it standard pregnant behavior that certain foods should be avoided?  And pop should be limited to one glass a day if any.   My doctor spent so much time going over nutrition with us that I thought it was so interesting that someone would think so differently.   Do I have the world’s strictest doctor?  Am I taking things too literal?  I feel like I need to be so careful about my intake and she is so cavalier seemingly polar opposites.  I wanted to learn more but wan’’t sure how to approach the subject without coming across as a bitch but I feel like this requires some further investigation.   Am I the only wanna be pregnant food nazi?

Further, why am I craving sweets?   I have never in my life been one to desire chocolate and yesterday I made my afternoon snack a brownie.  What is that all about?  I am not even going to start with the crap I ate for dinner last night….how was I to say no to truffle fries?  At least had a few shrimps and hummus with veggies to even things out but still not a stellar performance on my part.  I totally should have ordered that macadamia nut crusted fish on the menu and not been suckered into the fried oblivion that made it to the table.  I only had a few bites of everything so it wasn’t that bad but the fish would have been a much better option.   Today is another day!   Is anyone doing anything fun for the Fourth of July weekend?   We are going to play it pretty low key.  Perhaps a family bbq and some R and R and snuggling with my boys.  I am also going to clean out my closet and get some items up on ebay as well as get together some returns.   I am trying to find my pregnant fashion voice and sort of stumbling here a little bit….what is a girl to do?

 

Funky Cold Medina June 29, 2010

What a week so far.  Friday I finally talked to my parents after the big blow out.  Mom apologized and Dad didn’t even have the decency to get on the phone.   We had uncomfortable small talk for an hour or so and that was it.  Things are definitely strained between us.   I am sad that my Dad hasn’t even spoken to me yet.  He did leave me a message referring to himself as mean so I guess that is his way of apologizing. Whatever, I am over it. Is there something called a pregnancy funk? I am definitely in one today.  I don’t know if it is from our lackluster weekend or the doctor’s appointment but I am really pretty surly today.   To begin with we had some friends over this weekend for dinner and told them about the baby.  They barely congratulated us.  They have been trying to get pregnant so I knew this would be difficult.  I felt bad because they seemed to be pretty upset by the news.  I know how that feels and I totally understand where they are coming from.  It is a hard situation as I don’t want to make people feel bad but boy it does kind of suck the life out of sharing the news.  Sunday I spent the majority of the day in a fetal position on my bathroom floor with what was a horrible day of morning sickness.   I don’t even know how to describe it other than like the worst hangover of my life with none of the fun!  I could barely move or eat.  Not enjoyable and a total waste of the day.

We met with the doctor yesterday for our eight week appointment and it was pretty uneventful for the most part.  Most of the information that she gave us was pretty much the same as all of my research.  I did get a no on the tanning lotion-as our doctor didn’t feel like there was enough information to ok it.  Maybe my confirmed pal rider status is what is putting me in this funk!  I did learn a few good things that I think will really help.   Water water everywhere!  She told us that a lack of water can exacerbate the symptoms or morning sickness. I think there is something to this.   I am supposed to have at least a liter a day is and I don’t think I had anywhere near that much on Sunday.  Apparently deli meat sandwiches are an option if they have been double toasted so my lunch options have just gone up exponentially!  Diet coke is so 1987-  and a no no for me as there is no significant research on this.  Aspartame is not my friend!  Since I am not a big pop drinker this won’t be a huge issue but for now my occasional is now off limits.  I am glad we talked about healthy weight gain too- a reminder to get myself in gear hear.  I had fallen of the wagon this weekend and put a little junk in my trunk.   This week I am back to my healthy ways with a trip to the Farmers market.  I am beyond excited that they had Kale- which is a I make a delicious kale chipa!  I also picked up some healthy cucumbers, tomatoes, lettuce, broccoli and zucchini the bebe is going to have such a great week! I think I am feeling better already!

Another subject that we discussed was whether or not we wanted to do any genetic testing.   Not good times.  Since I am an old hag- 37 my at risk odds have apparently increased.   Hubby and I did not really talk about this at all before the appointment which made for an awkward end to the appointment.  I would recommend to anyone trying to get pregnant they should talk about this beforehand to get a sense of where you both are at.  The stakes change when you are actually talking about a life that is growing inside of you.  We do not see eye to eye on this and had a pretty difficult conversation yesterday that I think is the real reason behind this funk.   I am not going to get into who feels what but there are some pretty strong opinions either way.  I would be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed but as with anything I truly don’t think people know how they will respond to a situation of this magnitude until they are in the moment.  I believe in our marriage and know when it gets down to it we will make it through anything and come out the other side better for it.  Yet another tiny bump in the road.  I am going to do some more research on this before coming up with a strategy but my oh my this is stressful!  Welcome to parenthood!