What to Expect When You are Not Expecting

My adventure of getting pregnant over 35 starting with clomid

I think I would rather look like a tranny! August 9, 2010

It has been a crazy few days….I feel like I have a lot to report! As you know I was feeling really good mid week last week so I decided to kick it up a notch and give the pre-natal workout a whirl. I tried the Summer Sanders workout and let me just first put it out there that I officially have a girl crush on her. She is so my pregnant hero. Since I have been a couch potato for the last few months I decided to start out easy with “express” workout- thank god because I am not going to lie it definitely kicked my butt a little and I for sure would have died doing the full length. The DVD has workouts for every stage of your pregnancy and Summer is AWESOME- funny and not at all annoying. Plus she is like way prego in the video and really kicking it so she it is very motivating. The only negative I would say is that it’s not really clear what equipment you will need at the beginning of the workout so be sure to read the back and have everything on hand. I was so excited that I actually managed a work out I almost cried tears of joy! I was sore for a few days afterward, but it in a very good way! As if not to make my week better, the next day I went shopping and actually found a couple of outfits that I felt good about. Granted I think I hit every major department store on Michigan Avenue and every boutique on Southport Corridor to accomplish this- but I prevailed! Score! Can I just take a moment to discuss fitting room lighting? I swear it’s like they are trying to convince you not to buy anything because I feel like I look so much worse in fitting rooms then in my home. Nordstroms if you can hear me please let me look better in your dressing room!  Anyway, I digress. So I picked up a couple of C-U-T-E dresses and now don’t need to panic the next time I have to go somewhere. Love. Additionally I think these options may make it into fall because they are pretty versatile.

After a week of so much success my amazing pregnancy decided to reward me with the worst headache ever Friday night. It was horrible! I tried everything to get rid of it naturally- water, warm compress, shower, you name it and nothing helped. This wonderful headache decided to take a liking to me and lasted the rest of the weekend. Since I am chemical/pill adverse I didn’t take anything for it. My doctor told me a little bit of Tylenol is ok but I am too nervous to take it. I read that headaches were common in the first tri- but not so much in the second. Does anyone know of a cure for the pregnancy headache? Since I am a glutton for punishment I decided on Saturday, headache still lingering, that it was time to lose the mustache and get my eyebrows done- finally. Girls- OMG did it hurt. I seriously think my upper lip still hurts today. Holy mother of god- that was way worse than I expected. I would not recommend it and am not really sure that it was worth it. I have had this done before but it has never felt like this. I think I would rather look like a tranny then go through that again! It was seriously tingling for days. I couldn’t even enjoy my mani-pedi afterward because my face was throbbing. I also am sure that my red face may have frightened a few people including the little girl that was there with her mother. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, she started screaming at the top of her lungs. I thought my head was literally going to explode. I have to ask a difficult question here. Is it really necessary to take your kids to the salon? In the case of the single mother- I totally get it, but I overheard this woman say that she was going to take the girl to home to daddy if she didn’t stop crying. It’s not that I blame the girl for crying either- I wanted to cry- it smells like chemicals in there and is crowded without any activities for children. Is this something I should know…do kids enjoy watching mommy get her nails done? I am going to put this out there and am recognizing the fact that I could very well be eating my own words at some point and will happily admit if I am wrong but if I can’t leave the kids at home I don’t think I should taking them with to get a manicure. Are mother’s out there screaming at me right now? I think the salon is a place to go to relax and get pampered and not a fun place for the little ones. Am I wrong? Tell me I can take it. I have seen this happen so many times at the salon and really want to know – should I just shut the hell up? Will this be me in a couple of years?

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Mr. Mister July 6, 2010

Hopefully everyone had a great holiday weekend.  Ours was long and relaxing much more low key than previous years but enjoyable!  I am not going to lie- I was really missing my wine this weekend.  Nothing is more enjoyable than a nice dinner and glass of wine al fresco in Chicago.   I have to say I am not in love with the pregnancy experience so far.   I am now officially fascinated by surrogates.   Who would want to do this without the reward of having a baby?   It is beyond me.   I have been feeling pretty good lately, just the normal tired and occasional naush but nothing too severe so I shouldn’t really complain.   I just feel like my mid section is bloated and I am feeling like my bowels are out of whack.   I am not convinced this is entirely pregnancy related since I had a burger and fries for dinner last night.  It is hard to explain but it doesn’t feel good.  My iphone tells me that my baby is the size of a prune.  Is this a subliminal message that I should eat one? Prunes are so 1987.  I’ll stick with salads, kiwi, and watermelon thank you very much!

Since I am now in week ten and for the last week have had minimal morning sickness I want to take a moment to discuss a few things.   Have any of you been given books by your friends?   If you are like me you have and have been excited to read them in hopes preparing yourself for what is to come or find solutions for what is currently ailing you.   I have been reading a lot and you know I live for google.   What I find is that most of the books contain the same information just packaged differently.  I also have found that they are lacking in a lot of information.  Specifically with regards to diet and nutrition, this is perplexing to me because I feel like subtle changes had a huge effect on  my morning sickness.  Not one of the books or resources I have read mentions anything about increasing your water intake which I can say without a doubt has been my number one cure.  Few mention taking supplements of any kind and I have yet to find a book that tells you the benefits of eating specific fruits and vegetables.   I have gone to non-pregnancy sites to find this information and usually do additional research.

Allegedly the ninth and tenth week- which I am in is when morning sickness is supposed to peak.  Not the case for me- the day I started drinking the water is the day things changed.  Any time I feel the slightest twinge of the sickness creeping in; I eat something and drink a lot of water.  Thank you doctor for this piece of advice it has changed my life.   I could always have more fruits and veggies but they are a part of my diet.  French Fries are veggies right?   Water is my real BFF.  Gone are my fugly seabands and nights in the fetal position.  It’s a miracle I tell you a miracle.  Now let’s talk about another miracle of nature- it’s a hairy situation I must confess…I am growing a mustache!  Just call me Mr. Pregnant lady.   Stachy over here.   Seriously it is bad.   Luckily all of my hair is light- I can’t even imagine what I would look like if it was dark.  Oh the horror!  I am getting it waxed tonight and not in the slightest bit excited for this.   I have read (not in any of my useless books) but online that waxing is even more   painful when pregnant. I’ll keep you posted on this important piece of information.   Let’s not even get started on my vagine!  If I let that baby go it would be welcome to the jungle.  I am going to stick to razor trimming there while I can see it – but after OMG I can’t become Barabara Bush if you know what I mean.  Yikes I am going to have to return to the bikini wax.  How  pregnant sexy!